Wealthy Men for Money or Love Page 10
Reminders for Protecting Your Sanity • Strict client screening helps ward off bad clients and saves your time and money for positive things. This is an absolute must for your safety as well as your sanity.
• No dating a client or his friends, ever. If you let a client get personal they can't help but think they can take advantage of you, even if they love you. Never forget that he met you as prostitute, because he will never forget it. No man is comfortable with knowing the woman he loves or thinks he owns and controls bonked or bonks other men, especially for money. Worse if it's more money than he is making. It's like a subconscious metaphoric castration; the money and drugs win over sacred love and a real man's life. Why do you think so many pimps are abusive to their women?
• Reserve a day or a couple of afternoons or mornings
manicure,
a week to get a massage, facial, me time, and other pampering to
decompress and prevent signs of aging. This also helps maintain and improve your product, plus it's tax deductible as a business expense.
• Keep your life organized with good time management and make time to be on time, so you aren't rushing about in a dither and stressing when you don't get the things you need done. By keeping an appointment calendar and planning our your days and weeks ahead of time, you can see where you don't have time and where you can make time without having to remember everything in your head.
• Stay sober. Having one toke, a toot, or a swig may take the edge off in the moment, but any more than that and you suppress the bad feelings, not get rid of them, and they resurface later. When you sober up and remember then the bad feelings come back three times worse. It's best to deal with extreme emotions by either sleeping it off, cathartic therapy like dancing and screaming to punk music, or doing some strenuous exercise where you can burn it off in calories. This way you will feel better rather than worse and have less deep frown wrinkles, fuzzy headaches, and bad breath the next morning.
• Be aware of who you are hanging out with socially that knows what you do, and make sure they are sane can be trusted as a friend. This is difficult to explain, but in a nutshell... sometimes people can be assholes if they are in the wrong mood or have their own insecurities. If they know what you do they have leverage over you and can use it as a weapon or threat. This risk is tripled if the person has a drug or alcohol habit of any kind, including prescription drugs, because they have a lot of suppressed emotions that may come out all over you right when you don't need it.
• Be aware of your working environment and if it is health for your sanity. Examples: If you are working for an agency where the girls are bitchy or the booker is slacking off on the screening and safety calls, then that is a stressful situation, which negatively affects your ability to be a friendly relaxed companion. If you work for a house and it's dirty or smelly or the other women are druggies, this can unconsciously add layers of more stress on top of your daily stresses. If you work with a girlfriend with meth habit, this can turn into off and on nightmare situations of which there are too many that I've been through to list here; find another partner to work with. Nobody likes hanging with a meth head and for very good reasons. I've seen the nicest most loving and trustworthy people when on meth morph into conniving, unstable, thieving, manipulative and abusive. They can't help it, it's the drug, and only they can get themselves off the drug, matter how many times you drag them to NA or AA meetings, or how many all night talks you give them.
• Don't try to save or fix somebody else, not even your boyfriend. If they are a broke, or can't get a job, or are depressed or on drugs it is their problem to get a solution for. It's not your job and if you do try to help them they won't appreciate it or it make a difference for more than 2 weeks at the most, even if they say Thank You and mean it at the time. Own the fact that you wanting to help and heal people shows you wanting to help you and heal you. Heal yourself and reach your goals first, then when you are on top of everything and have energy and resources to spare you can give back. Of course the exceptions are if the person is a child under 18 or even 25 years of age who is dependent on you, but that's another kind of workshop and a different kind of teacher all together. Either way you should seek advice from a social worker or your therapist to get a professional opinion. Remember that only when you are healed and whole you are able to help and heal others effectively, and only if they are already healing path themselves.
• With the extra time and money on your hands you can start working on self growth projects, such as studying for a new career or a subject that interest you, volunteering and making new friends, getting your health in better shape, and doing all those little things you've always wanted to do. By doing something constructive with your time and money, instead of partying and shopping, you will feel more fulfilled and have a sense of achievement, which goes a big way to saving your sanity.
• De-clutter your living space. When you living space is cluttered you can't think clearly and the clutter creates stress without you being conscious of it. Go through everything and get rid of stuff you don't need. Especially get rid of things that have bad or sad memories, such as anything left over from old relationships. Make it a daily routine to tidy up mess, throw out old newspapers and magazines, wash dishes and keep your living space nice and tidy; your stress levels will thank you for it.
• Organize your living space: get some nice baskets and shelves to sort and store your stuff so you can find what you need when you need it. It improves your time management and organizational skills and you don't get flustered trying to find stuff.
• Make your living space, if sharing a place your bedroom, a retreat. Get some nice cotton sheets, window treatments, and rugs to make your living space new and spa like. If you are on a tight budget buy from thrift stores. Especially make sure you have a good mattress, worth the investment, no futons, so you can get a relaxing good sleep every night. Your living space is where you decompress and unwind so it needs to be Zen and earthy, just like a spa.
• Find a sober way to unwind. Examples: When I dated royalty and other "toffs" in London it I'd go swimming and bicycle sightseeing a few days a week, and later art school and galleries. When I toured Finland as a cabaret burlesque dancer (yes really), I would go to museums and the old cities to soak up the art and architecture. While dating CEO's, diplomats, and rock stars in Paris I would wander around the sights and windy lanes taking photos of everything. As a table dancer in Melbourne Australia I'd play pool with the old regulars between sets, unbeatable except for gentleman. In San Francisco USA, while dating dot-com millionaires, I studied modern dance with a world-renowned ballet company. The overall results - instead of feeling sorry for myself and getting a drug habit, I got a great body, great hand eye coordination, a well rounded arts education, and life experience to write another and for a while I was a distinguished Italian
book about.
• Another hard to
client who leaves explain situation is the nice you feeling thoroughly and sometimes wretchedly drained or creeped out. He's not dirty or creepy looking, nor badly dressed, nor rude, nor demanding and most of the date you talk a normal conversation, but something about him gets to your head. I can only put it down to talking about work with a client, the "What's a nice girl like you doing this for?" conversation. On the outside it seems normal, one would think it was healthy and not a problem, but internally it opens a door in your head that you can't have opened if you are to stay sane in this industry, moral guilt. The guy will often poke through that door and keep poking until you feel like a sack of crap with your guts hanging out, all the while the conversation seems healthy and nice. I hope this makes sense enough for you to recognize it when it happens and stop the conversation or walk out. It can be really unnerving and opens up stuff in your head that can shake your sanity and self-confidence. If it does happen go talk to your buddy or industry girlfriends to process. Weird or freak out situations are when industry friends are truly life savers t
o talk to, if you don't have somebody to process it with and it stews in your mind it can lead to suicidal thoughts. Oh and it's not just clients that get into your head like that, it can also be the cab driver, or a guy at a bar, or anybody that tries to get into your head about your "night" life. Often the person doesn't know what they are doing, but others are very
conscious and deliberate vampires.
• Bathtub meditation for shaking off the day. Hot
bath and soft lighting, no distractions. Soak for
20 minutes and imagine the stresses and
uncomfortable thoughts of the day are floating
out of your body into the water as you soak and
give your body a light scrub with a loofa. When
you've finished, stay in the tub as the water
drains empty and imagine all the stresses and
negative thoughts going down the drain in with
the water. Then have a cool shower to rinse off
and tighten the pores and tone the skin.
• White light meditation for shaking off bad
thoughts and paranoia on the go. Sometimes your mind can be your worst enemy. Because you are having to be so careful and watchful all the time your mind can get sudden negative overload for no reason and this can attract trouble and adversely affect the way you handle a client or situation, the way you see a client or surroundings, and how the client perceives you. The white light meditation is a super fast way to clear your head so you can stop the fear and think straight. (Warning: Practice at home, 5 minutes per day, before trying it out and about, else you may space out and bump into walls or into moving traffic, or trip over stairs.) Breathing from the belly, in through your nose and out through your mouth to make your body relax. Imagine a white light growing from the inside of you and filling your whole body and mind, then filling a big white egg all around you, projecting about 3 feet from your body, above your head, and below your feet into the ground. Imagine your dark thoughts as black mist being pushed out of you and out through the wall of the egg. As you breath in you breathe in white healing protective light, as you breath out the black mist goes out of you and the egg wall and dissolves into nothing in the cosmos. Once you have the hang of it you can clear your head in a few deep
breaths.
• Get a diary or private blog that nobody else can
see and write to process your experiences,
feelings, and thoughts. Writing is great therapy
and stress release, plus you may find your
writings useful for a future book or at least to
reminisce.
Homework 1. Make a list of sober things you like to do and see to unwind.
2. Make a list of sober things you would like to do and see that you haven't done or seen.
3. Practice the bathtub meditation.
4. Practice the white light medication.
5. De-clutter your space and have a garage sale. The extra money you can spend on new bedding and decor for your spa like retreat.
6. Research a good female therapist you can see regularly. Not a heterosexual man, because while hetero male therapists are plenty as understanding and skilled, their hetero maleness subconsciously makes you uncomfortable because you work with men in the most intimate way and is the reason you are seeking therapy; it's too close. This can cause a kind of overload, which negates the therapy you are paying money for, and probably quite a bit of money at that. A homosexual male therapist may be OK, at least for a trial basis; I haven't tried one yet so can't say from experience.
❦24 How Do You Safe Sex?
“Hey Jude don't be prude put a rubber on that dude…” I should write jingles, but yes this chapter is about condoms, as well as a few procedures you may not know about.
Always check your client for STDs - Sexually Transmitted Diseases You have to check every client every time, but you don't want it to seem like a medical examination, in fact it is better for fantasy purposes that they don't know you are checking them or putting a condom on him. When a gentleman takes off his pants kneel in front of him and gently take his private parts in your hand and make like you are looking at them lovingly, but you are actually checking for signs of STDs.
Obvious signs of STD's include... • Greenish or puss discharge from the eye of the penis or anus.
• Warts around the genitals and inner thighs.
• Sores and or blisters on the genitals and inner thighs.
• Rash or hives around the genitals and inner thighs.
Wanda The Fish - AKA Smelly Vagina Some guys like to give oral, yes use a dental dam, but also make sure your vagina is healthy and tastes and smells sweet. Sometimes women get amount of odor and vaginal discharge. itching or itching and redness accompanied by a yellow-green discharge. Below is a home remedy for most causes, if it persists see your doctor.
increased
Possible
Wanda Remedy 1. The vagina needs to breathe, so let it.
2. Wear cotton underwear instead of synthetic underwear.
3. Wear loose panties, no thongs or tight or close fitting panties.
4. Use condoms during sex.
5. Add one teaspoon of boric acid or a half-cup of hydrogen peroxide to two quarts of warm water. (For the boric acid to mix well you need to make sure the water is warm). Use the boric acid or hydrogen peroxide douche for two weeks and stop. The boric acid and hydrogen peroxide should increase the amount of lactic acid within the vagina. This increased amount of lactic acid within the vaginal helps restore the proper bacterial balance within the vaginal and reduces the chances of re-infection.
6. Eat less sugar so that you don't feed the yeast.
7. No caffeine for 6 weeks to balance out your alkaline levels.
8. See a doctor if you are still unsure.
Herpes Herpes is not curable and will reoccur, but outbreaks can be prevented or at least minimized naturally with diet by avoiding argentine rich foods, such as peas, peanuts, chocolate, processed grains, and beer. If you think you've accidentally eaten some of these, take a dose of lysine over the next 3 days. If you feel or see an outbreak coming on, usually a red bump with a tingly or itchy feeling, take a week off sex work and dab the affected area with Abreva or Zoviorax take a double dose of lysine for four days. Once the lesion has healed and scab has fallen away, massage the area with pure vitamin E oil to fade the scar quickly.
Period It's not recommended that you do sex work during your period, because that is a time when you should be resting and letting go of the previous month, so to speak. Plus you are probably having cramps or feeling grumpy or hormonally emotional. If you do have to work during your period, only do day or early evening, take a vitamin iron supplement, and use natural sea sponges during sex. Buy a couple of sponges about two inches in diameter and while they are dry sew a few inches of dental floss to the sponges so you have something to pull the sponge out with. Before inserting the sponge wash it in warm water and dish soap and rinse thoroughly. Insert the sponge just like you would a tampon. After using the sponge wash it in warm water and dish soap and rinse thoroughly. If the sponge seams stale, give it wash and rinse in oxygen bleach and warm water to sterilize and rinse thoroughly.
Apple Cider Douche Add a teaspoon of organic apple cider to 1 cup of warm water in a douche, once a week, after your period finishes, or whenever your vagina smells a little iffy to keep your vagina fresh and help ward off yeast infections. Never use a store bought douche solution, natural is always better. You can also use the same solution for enemas to keep your colon fresh.
Getting the Condom On Elegantly If you are not a virgin you know how awkward it can be for a guy to get a condom on. The trick is to put it on for him so he doesn’t risk feeling like a klutz. How you do that is put the condom in your mouth and roll it onto the penis with your lips and tongue. Practice on a banana and your favorite tasting condoms to get the hang of it. When you get good at it your date will never know he is wearing the condom until
the end of the session.
Eat Honey Not Sugar nor Sweetener Our bodies don't metabolize refined, synthetic, or genetically modified foods properly. This causes ills, such as yeast infections, digestion problems, and diabetes 2. Honey is the best and also great for preventing hangovers if you've had a few drinks, or have trouble sleeping, prevents allergies, and is great for the skin; eat a 2 table spoons of raw local honey before bed. Honey is also a natural dressing for cuts and burns as it is naturally antiseptic and has many healing properties.